Eighteenth Star

[heavenfang]

All this talk...about murders and redemption.

Well I've got a reality check...no matter what any person, government, or deity might say...there are no pardons. There is no redeeming a bloodied hand. Once someone has killed, there's no turning back to innocence. It's impossible. Once someone has...murdered...they will never have a clean soul again.

That burden will be carried with them to the end of their days...and for some of them, that end will never come...

Comments

[Text]

[song-princess.livejournal.com]

You were only burden by this subject. I place no fault on you.

[comment log]

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

"I...I try to smile, and live, and be happy for those around me. I try to be the Tir McDohl they know and love, but it keeps getting harder. The Dunan war proved to me...I can't do this anymore. Three years...soon it will be four. And it will just keep going from now until the end of time, because I'm starting to forget how to be anything else," Tir said in a much calmer tone, the barriers warn away completely and his shoulders began to shake.

[comment log]

[ilpresto.livejournal.com]

"Tir..." Kazuki softened as he saw him doubt. He was probably just as confused and scared as he was, if not more. It was hard to imagine, living forever. Impossible even.

He shifted over on the couch so they were close enough to have their shoulders brush, and reached out to hold his hand, the one where Soul Eater resided. His palm covered where the mark would be. Gently, he leaned his head in to nudge the side of Tir's face, inviting him closer.

"You know... It's okay to be happy just for yourself. You deserve it just as much as anyone else."

[comment log]

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

Tir practically melted at the touch. He leaned against Kazuki almost desperately, as if that loving contact was the only thing keeping him grounded. His words...

"I'm so scared...that after so many years...I won't remember how."

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

War is different. It always is.

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

...thank you for seeing what I was talking about.

[comment log]

[ilpresto.livejournal.com]

Touch seemed to calm him down the best in situations like this. Kazuki would remember that.

"How would you forget?"

[comment log]

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

It really did. Tir didn't understand why it did, it just...was one of the most comforting things he could have right now. It recalled something physically that his mind didn't quite know what to think of...ah well.

"Do you know how long an eternity looks like staring it down from the beginning?"

[comment log]

[ilpresto.livejournal.com]

"No, I don't," he said, and gripped Tir's hand a little tighter. The thought was frightening for him, and it wasn't even his future to face. "What's it like?"

[comment log]

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

"It's deafening...and cold...and the cruelest thing you could imagine. Everything I know and care about, I will outlive. Every time there is someone near me that is near death, I will kill. It's enough to crush the soul," Tir spoke, his words broken slightly by tears.

[comment log]

[ilpresto.livejournal.com]

Kazuki reached out to wipe at Tir's eyes a little with the edge of his sleeve, and thought. What about the dream that he had had? If it was true, then...

"Are you sure, you can't die?"

[comment log]

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

"Unless Soul Eater wants me too...then no, I can never die," Tir spoke, his words almost a whisper.

[comment log]

[ilpresto.livejournal.com]

"Even if you were hurt really badly?" Kazuki persisted, realizing that his questions were probably becoming suspicious. He shifted a little nervously.

[Text]

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

...If you really think so.

[Text]

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

Lady Leanne? I could...really use a song right about now.

[comment log]

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

...that seemed odd.

"What do you mean?"

[Text]

[song-princess.livejournal.com]

Of course.

*Switches to voice.*

*Goes to start singing.*

[comment log]

[ilpresto.livejournal.com]

...He had promised he would tell him later, didn't he. Kazuki didn't like to think about it, the mental image was still just as unnerving as it had been that day.

"You remember back when everyone was seeing things? On that day when you saw... When you saw your father? I did say that I'd tell you, when Sakura-chan was missing..." His voice fell out at the end. He didn't want Tir to be hurt in any way. But when faced with eternity, it might seem like a relief.

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

-just...listens-

[song-princess.livejournal.com]

*Continues with her song.*

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

-...and begins to cry...but it can only barely register-

[song-princess.livejournal.com]

*Continues with her song but goes to try and make it have a comforting feel to it.*

[comment log]

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

Tir continued to listen, his attention focused on Kazuki. It helped him, really...not feel so lost in his own thoughts. It gave him something to latch on to mentally.

[comment log]

[ilpresto.livejournal.com]

"I thought... I thought I saw you die."

It was unbelievably hard to say, like if he let someone know, it might come true. "It was so real, like I was right there. There was blood everywhere..." A tremor ran up his spine, giving him chills.

"I've never seen anyone die before, but if that wasn't it... I don't know what is."

[Voice]

[tenkai-soul.livejournal.com]

...th-thank you.