heavenfang | Eighteenth Star

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Eighteenth Star

All this talk...about murders and redemption.

Well I've got a reality check...no matter what any person, government, or deity might say...there are no pardons. There is no redeeming a bloodied hand. Once someone has killed, there's no turning back to innocence. It's impossible. Once someone has...murdered...they will never have a clean soul again.

That burden will be carried with them to the end of their days...and for some of them, that end will never come...

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"It's deafening...and cold...and the cruelest thing you could imagine. Everything I know and care about, I will outlive. Every time there is someone near me that is near death, I will kill. It's enough to crush the soul," Tir spoke, his words broken slightly by tears.

Kazuki reached out to wipe at Tir's eyes a little with the edge of his sleeve, and thought. What about the dream that he had had? If it was true, then...

"Are you sure, you can't die?"

"Unless Soul Eater wants me too...then no, I can never die," Tir spoke, his words almost a whisper.

"Even if you were hurt really badly?" Kazuki persisted, realizing that his questions were probably becoming suspicious. He shifted a little nervously.

...that seemed odd.

"What do you mean?"

...He had promised he would tell him later, didn't he. Kazuki didn't like to think about it, the mental image was still just as unnerving as it had been that day.

"You remember back when everyone was seeing things? On that day when you saw... When you saw your father? I did say that I'd tell you, when Sakura-chan was missing..." His voice fell out at the end. He didn't want Tir to be hurt in any way. But when faced with eternity, it might seem like a relief.

Tir continued to listen, his attention focused on Kazuki. It helped him, really...not feel so lost in his own thoughts. It gave him something to latch on to mentally.

"I thought... I thought I saw you die."

It was unbelievably hard to say, like if he let someone know, it might come true. "It was so real, like I was right there. There was blood everywhere..." A tremor ran up his spine, giving him chills.

"I've never seen anyone die before, but if that wasn't it... I don't know what is."

That was it...and it all made sense now. Kazuki's state of mind during Sakura's kidnapping, as well as his reactions to Tir's recklessness. It all clicked in his head.

And Tir's only response was...to wrap his arms tightly around Kazuki, holding him close as he could.

Kazuki curled around Tir in return, almost possessively, refusing to let go. He nestled his face into the crook of his shoulder, his skin was cold from being outside.

"You can't do that to me, man. You just can't."

He couldn't...but was it because of Soul Eater or was it something else entirely? If it came to deciding between his own life and protecting Kazuki...he wasn't certain he could make a decision like that.

"I...I won't."

He wasn't sure if that was completely sincere, or even a promise that Tir could keep at all... but it was still nice to hear. That he could at least say it for him was comforting.

"I'm sorry," Kazuki admitted, trying to pry himself away a little, "You weren't feeling good, and then I..."

Tir tightened the hug, never wanting to let go. At least not while they were both so emotional. He shook his head, as if saying the apologies were completely unnecessary.

"Kazuki, I...," he tried to speak, his voice a strained whisper. "I need you, more than I ever knew."

Kazuki felt a little odd at hearing that. His stomach did a flutter, and something closed in his throat that he has to swallow down. He started to rub Tir's back soothingly.

"It's okay... It's okay, I'm not going anywhere."

Tir began to cry, of course...it was so much at once, but he couldn't help the tears. He felt the liberty to be like this around Kazuki. Something about him made it safe, made it acceptable. He didn't have to be a leader, a soldier, or even Death itself around Kazuki. He could just be...Tir.

"I love you"

The flutter turned into something a little more forceful, as his stomach was now trying to occupy the same space as his lungs and almost succeeding, (or at least he thought) as it pushed out a breathy squeaking sound with it. He felt like however he was holding Tir right now wasn't quite enough, if only he could get closer. But they were impossibly close already. He felt both preciously important and completely useless all at once.

"I, um, wow... You, you really mean that?"

Edited 2009-01-13 08:29 (UTC)

Did he? It had just...popped out. He hadn't actually had the time to think it over. It was just pure feelings at that point, with no reasoning at all. But that was what almost every move in this relationship had been, hadn't it? Trusting his heart...and ignoring his mind.

He nodded.

Kazuki suddenly felt very full of something, sort of warm and tingly and exciting. He was smiling and his cheeks were turning pink, although he wasn't embarrassed over anything. Clutching Tir tightly to his chest, he flopped down on his back, and nuzzled the top of his black hair.

"Don't cry, okay? It's alright..."

Well, he didn't really have a whole lot more tears left to shed. He could only sniffle occasionally and relish in the warmth of his partner, feeling such a burden lifting off of him as...yes..he did love Kazuki. And it wasn't just that sort of love couples usually have. Kazuki was his closest friend here...his constant rock...and someone he could always trust to be there for him.

He'd been the shoulder Tir had cried on, and how, he felt himself so much at peace after all that came out of his system that he just...started to drift.

"Go ahead and sleep if you want," he whispered fondly, feeling pretty comfortable right here himself. It was nice like this. Being this close to someone else, one body on top of another, was something he felt he had wanted for awhile. "I don't want to leave."

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Eighteenth Star

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