heavenfang | Twelfth Star [Should be private, but Tir is a tard]

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Twelfth Star [Should be private, but Tir is a tard]

...did he really admit what I think he did? I mean, he was sick, so it could just be skewed because of that, but...

He said he liked how I look with the bandanna off and my long hair...like the same way Kasumi did, but he actually SAID it to me. He had the boldness to do that...

Does that mean he...likes me? The same way Kasumi did?

This is so confusing...I don't know what to do or how to feel. I've never been through anything like this before. I mean, I know there are guys out there who...like other guys like that but...I'm not one of them. At least I don't think I am. And I never would have guessed he was.

My head hurts...

AND YOU CAN SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!

((that last part was directed at his Rune, which is taunting him in his mind right now))

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Of...of course not! I...I don't understand it, really, but I know that being apart from you now, well...it wouldn't help anything.

[suddenly more cheerful] Really?

That's good. I like it there.

And...well...we can't just run away from this. We have to figure it out.

Yeah, I agree. There are... some things I'd like to talk about.

Well...no time like the present, right?

Face to face would be better. And it's cold outside, you should come in.

...yeah. I'll be down in a bit...

Put the kettle on, yeah? I could use some tea...even if it isn't good.

Sure, I can do that.

And here comes Tir, opening the door and letting out a heavy breath. His tunic is only draped over his shoulder, and he remains topless for the most part. Feel free to call him a hypocrite, but right now there's too many things on his mind to care about decency.

"Welcome back," he called out habitually when he heard the door open, and turned from the stove to greet Tir, "The water's boiled, though I'm not sure how strong you like your..."

"Cripes, Tir!" Kazuki exclaimed, less startled by the fact that he was half naked and more upset that he was outside like that, "It's freezing out! What were you doing?"

"Huh? Oh, well, you see, Master Kai used to have me train nearly nude in freezing wind in order to strengthen my body and my spirit," Tir explained as if it was NOTHING out of the ordinary.

Kazuki sighed, feeling a bit hysterical. "Not to be disrespectful or anything, Tir, but your master must have been nuts."

"Go sit down," he said, and motioned to the couch, "and I'll get the tea ready, okay?"

"I'd rather you kept such comments about Master Kai to yourself, thank you kindly?" Tir huffed, wiping some of the sweat away before putting his undershirt back on. He didn't bother with the tunic for now.

He went to sit, as instructed, not actually upset that Kazuki said anything about Master Kai...it didn't bother him like it normally would.

"Sorry, sorry."

Kazuki came by with a mug for Tir a few moments later, and one for himself. He sat in a separate chair, not wanting to invade any personal space. Even though he wasn't the brightest when it came to personal relationships, he had a feeling he should keep his distance.

"I, uh..."

Tir took a long sip from his drink, thinking on what he should say. This wouldn't come easy...but it had to be done, really. It was just a matter of finding the words...

"It's amazing, you know...how quickly everything can change in just one gesture...one word..."

"Y-yeah," Kazuki nodded, shrinking back a little and turning his mug around in his hands, "I wasn't even thinking about it very much, and the words just, came out." And his thoughts, even more automatic. A natural reaction.

"Well...who said that change had to be negative?" Tir spoke softly, looking up from his tea to Kazuki. There was...a smile on his face. Something he and Minato had talked about...it had really helped him see things for what they were.

"Eh?" Kazuki blinked once, and then twice, he almost wasn't sure he had heard that correctly, "Uh, say that again?"

Was there anything good that could come of this? He hadn't thought about it.

"Well...the way I see it...I mean, I don't know if I'm that way or not, and, well...," Tir stuttered a bit, trying to find the right words.

"I'm never going to know if I don't try, right? It's safe to get close to someone like that here...Souleater can't get you..."

Two mile long freight trains moving at absurdly high speeds having a head-on collision. Hear the brakes squeal and watch the shrapnel fly. This was an accurate description of Kazuki's current state of mind.

"T-tir," Stuttering would be an understatement for his current impediment of speech, "I...I always thought, thought that... There's a girl back home, I, we're not, but..." His words stuck in his throat out of panic.

...Where there went the wind in Tir's sails. Of course he expected this, and was prepared to accept that possibility. Kazuki had mentioned that girl before, of course. How could he expect him to simply forget about that? How selfish...

"Well, I...still value our friendship. So no matter what happens...we will always have that, Kazuki."

"No!" he exclaimed, and then flinched as he realized how bad that may have sounded, "I mean, of course I like being friends with you, I've liked being friends with you since the beginning."

With that out of the way, Kazuki took a deep breath and continued, hoping he could get this out right, "The other day, first with the mistletoe, and then when you were taking care of me... I thought... I didn't really understand then, I still don't understand all the way..."

"I thought that, you were... attractive. And those other feelings..."

Tir listened, and his eyes were certainly trained to Kazuki as he spoke. He may not have noticed it really but...he was almost hanging on every word. His heart was racing. And even his face, well...it flushed when he heard that Kazuki thought of him in such away. And that was an honest statement this time...there was no mistaking how Kazuki saying something like that made him feel...

"It's like... It's almost like Kaho-chan all over again," he admitted, somewhat painfully. Kazuki had been hopelessly attached to her, and incredibly devoted, despite the fact that her eyes always seemed to be on someone other than him. To talk about it like this made him feel as though he was breaking the promise he had made to himself, to become a better musician, a better man, one that she could notice on her own.

But Tir... He already had his full attention. Kazuki would be lying to say that didn't feel like what he always wanted. What she didn't... couldn't give him.

"I feel like," he exhaled deeply, and placed his forehead in his palms, "I feel like I like you. But I've never been that way... with a guy, before."

"W-well...neither have I," Tir admitted, though he felt like it was the hundredth time he'd said that today and Kazuki was just the last to hear it. So much had happened so quickly...he couldn't imagine what the other youth must be thinking.

Tir's own thoughts...they went to Kasumi. There was a time when he was certain they could be together...but Kasumi could never get past who Tir was. Tir's status...his legend...his rune...they all held him back before.

But none of those seemed to matter to Kazuki. Kazuki wasn't from his world, and the name McDohl meant nothing to him. He'd already promised to not leave him be, in spite of the rune. And...well...Tir's status as a hero didn't seem to intimidate him either. It was really a blessing.

How could he turn that away? It was what he wanted, after all...he just always imagined it would be from a girl.

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