heavenfang | Eighteenth Star

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Eighteenth Star

All this talk...about murders and redemption.

Well I've got a reality check...no matter what any person, government, or deity might say...there are no pardons. There is no redeeming a bloodied hand. Once someone has killed, there's no turning back to innocence. It's impossible. Once someone has...murdered...they will never have a clean soul again.

That burden will be carried with them to the end of their days...and for some of them, that end will never come...

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...I can't say it's okay either.

You...you don't have to.

I'd want to, though! If it would make you feel better.

No, I mean...no one has to tell me "it will be okay". I mean, I've accepted my fate, after all.

But that's not good enough...

It's not good enough if you feel like this!

...give me a decade or so and maybe I'll get used to it.

Tir.

...I guess that wasn't a very good joke, huh?

No...

Are you in your room? I feel like I should come see you.

I was just out training.

Come home?

...in a moment.

...Thanks.

And so he arrives home, entering without a sound and just plopping onto the sofa, not even bothering to put his shirt back on. There's no huff, no sigh...no anything.

Kazuki came out of his room when he heard the down open (and he really had to try, Tir could be sneaky when he wanted to be) but hesitated a bit when he came to the couch. There was something about his partner right now that he didn't like, in the way that mice don't like large snakes. He wasn't sure how to handle it.

"Are you afraid now that you know the truth? That I willingly killed him?" Tir spoke, his tone of voice not cold just...broken. Why had such a simple statement caused such a dramatic shift in his mood? A day ago, he had been on cloud nine...

"No!" He answered quickly, shaking his head, and sat down with resolution, "No, I'm not afraid of you."

"I just... I don't know what to say."

Tir began to speak...the words most certainly not his own

"You have become so strong. I lived for what I believed in. And I have no regrets. You must also live for what you believe in. I give blessings to your choice. I am happy. The greatest happiness... a father can experience... is to see his son... surpass himself."

Tir turned to face Kazuki, his look cast to the distance though.

"Those were his last words...before I killed him."

"You... You killed your father?"

Kazuki couldn't believe it. On New Years, when everyone had seen visions, Tir had seen his father. He thought he was just upset over the fact that he had died, but now... This explained some of that trauma.

"But you wouldn't do something like that! There, there must have been a reason!"

"He was already defeated...he was laying wounded in my arms," Tir said, his voice just...ghostly. There was so much there, but it was all heard as if through a filter...to keep the emotion from pouring out all at once.

"And...and I killed him. Soul Eater took his soul and devoured it."

"...Why?"

Now he was a little scared. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't. Didn't he love his father? His line of thought wandered dangerously.

...

"Because that was what I was meant to do. It was my new purpose...I just didn't realize it at the time," he said, beginning to choke. The filters were failing...

"Because I hold this...I'm the equivalent of the Grim Reaper."

"You mean, you're a Shinigami?" Woah woah woah woah, back up there. He knew that the Soul Eater was some kind of powerful, and that it had caused problems for Tir, but this? You're gonna have to give him a minute.

"Not really...the Rune is more than I, I'm just a vessel. But even then...it's drawn to death. And while I've seen it correct the Balance before by bringing someone to life...more often, it just draws me to kill," Tir said, tears beginning to form as the last of the walls come down.

"It made me...want to kill him. To end his life. I never forgave myself, no matter what anyone said. Odessa, Gremio, Ted...father...I killed all of them."

So heavy. The air suddenly felt leaden. It was something that Kazuki couldn't handle very well. No words came to mind, no matter how desperately he wanted to comfort Tir. He bit his lip, and his hands clenched into fists.

There had to be something... He had to do something!

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